Ascent. As the monkey said to Maggie Thatcher a few years ago, it was hardly worth the evolutionary effort, seeing how the human race has turned out. Look at us, will you. Puny, greedy, fearful going on for paranoid, cowardly and subservient to grovelling slavish levels, cruel to the point of sadism, complacently ignorant and wilfully blind to anything we don’t like to see and more often than not as ugly as sin (both inside and outside).
I know that amongst all these jungles of nightmare, deserts of gruesomeness and labyrinths of utter piffle flowers called Bach and Vermeer and Austen have blossomed, but for every Goya, a hundred thousand Elon Musks, for every Rosa a million Tony Blairs, for every Beethoven a billion Netanyahus, have scourged this poor beautiful planet and turned it into a diabolical stage for a Pantomime, become a Punch&Judy show, become a murderous Grand Guignol.
The wise Proto-fish tried to warn the Dinos, back when still there might have been time to take the right forking out of the many possible options, but did the Dinos listen? Did they bollocks! So, here we all are: the sheep and the goats, the slugs and the ferrets, the nearly-fully-human and the WeThePeoples. And the cattle and the butchers both, the lost lambs and the good shepherds, the victims and the torturers, the cannon fodder and the field marshals. The wholly innocent and the guilty-as-hell. All in this together, in this Last Waltz Macabre, before the music fades and the lights are put out and the great cosmic MC announces the end of the party, the end of the line. Crewe train stops here, ladies and gents. All change for the final void.
But, hey!, no need to pout. It is what it is and what will be will be. Stick to the Mehitabel Protocols and keep Becketting on best you can, be it only to annoy the rightful heirs of that recently-dead Kissinger cunt. The Time of the Bugs is nigh, me dears. Have some Madeira. And grin and bear and give Them the finger.
Oh! Mr Porter, what shall I do?
I want to go to Birmingham
And they’re taking me on to Crewe,

Have a totally spiffing week. And heaps of mutinous love, honey for breakfast and Beluga whales by the cartload. And un po’ di mu’, of course.