Month: August 2018

Monster Dialectics

Boo2. I was going to translate the diatribe of Boo2, a cousin of the wee monster of a few weeks ago, but I’ve reconsidered. His language is hardly fit for a respectable site such as this and his terms of abuse can flay skin off folks’ backs even at such cybernetic remove. So here’s the gist of his lament instead. He says, basically, to stop it at once! That Them Who Ought to Stop It are making everybody miserable, and ruining the planet, and killing all the joy out of life, and stealing his rightful job of scaring people. And, worse sin of all, they are upsetting his little monster-dryad mate, who’s very young and vulnerable. He also says that if Boris Johnson had any decency he’d auto-euthanize right away.
Now you might think that, foul language included, this is a very long proclamation for such a small speech bubble, but MonsterTalk is even more concise than Latin and German put together. A little goes a long, long way. And this particular dialect is even more tersely summarizing that most. So use your imagination if you’re in the mood for some highly colourful vituperation. Then double it and you’ll roughly approximate the fire and the passion of Boo2’s harangue.
Have a fab weekend.

Home Remedies

Bug Patrol. Been a tad fragile lately, so I recruited the Bug Patrol to come and lend a claw or two in the fight against The Blues. Since these chappies never travel alone, they brought their friends and relatives and all in all we hand a grand, righteous groovy time of it. Please note the presence of the Celestial Sardine and Manu, the Bird of Reason, both absent from my neck of the wood for quite a while because they are both in great demand elsewhere; the Sardine for her outstanding skills as an all-’round entertainer and Manu simply much needed, end of. If you ever get overwhelmed by the uncommon amount of politico-mediatic bullshit floating about right now, drop me a line and I’ll send the merry brigands your way. Free of charge, por la cara. There. Have a maaarvelous week.
And here’s today’s lesson of my very own Spanish for Beginners:
With this picture you can explain to a child what the Right is all about: you climb to the top standing on everybody else’s things and if you see that you’re going to topple and bust your ass you snatch the the flag and use it as a parachute.
And a wee “obituary. to cheer you up.

Welcome to ZombieLand!

Wee Chaps. Here’s one of those helpful thingummy bobs that are as good for one thing as for the next: pandemic Russophobia, subservient approval of the IHRA definition of anti-Semitism, uncritical belief in phantom chemical attacks, “floods. of refugees paranoia! you name it. If everybody is at it, it must be true, right? Well? I mean, even the representatives of the Master Races* say so! At which point I recall my dad’s comeback when, once, I pestered him beyond endurance with a (possible dumb) request, and he said no again, and I cried, in my childish despair, “But everybody’s getting one!. He turned his soft brown eyes on me and said, very quietly and serenely “And if one day everybody decides to run headlong into the sea and drown, will you follow them, too?. I was never the same after that. In as much as dads can ever rock, my dad rocked.
*Just in case you woz wandering what a Master Race looks like, here’s a helpful link to a wee sample. NB. There’s lots more in the same vein in that YouTube page. Have fun!
And in the best BBC/Guardian style, here’s the other side’s version:
So much for the much feted Patreon, then, innit?


The Great Barrier Reef is slowly dying out.
Now you know.
But you needn’t worry. Keep believing the pundits who’ll tell you that is all perfectly natural, all in a mother nature’s day’s work and that science will somehow find a way to sort out this mess and all will be fluffy in the end.
Or not.
Have a grand week.

Here, have a little spoonful of sugar. Some habitats are not only wholeand unpolluted but positively bursting at the seams with mental health and fun and crappy jokes and fluff.

Through A Glass Darkly

Nastiness. For Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Again. And again. Today and forever. Lest we forget. Please feel free to write your own complementary set of curses along an imaginary dotted line. As imaginary as the “reasons. given 73 years ago by the grisly Truman creature, and all the other Meat Puppets who came after him, for dropping the bombs that killed, all said and done (and this a very conservative estimate), well over 200,000 civilians at one stroke. Well, two strokes, if you want to be fussy. Not to mention the ones who died, slowly and agonizingly, of radiation burns and poisoning.
I know I repeat myself but!A pox on “Them. all!
“Ahab is forever Ahab, man.  This whole act’s immutably decreed.  ‘Twas rehearsed by thee and me billion years before this ocean rolled.  Fool!  I am the Fates’ lieutenant; I act under orders..Â .“ Herman Melville, Moby Dick 
“The greatest evil is not now done in those sordid ‘dens of crime’ that Dickens loved to paint!But it is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried, and minuted) in clean, carpeted, warmed, and well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voice.. .“ C. S. Lewis, author’s preface, 1962, The Screwtape Letters

Dog Days

Marine Biology. Due to this brain-scorching weather, it took me a little time to find again the chronicles of this latest “Russia done it!. lark but here they are, both versions, in the interest of balance and impartiality. 🙂
Really, I’m almost persuaded to join in the fun and blame Putin for this bloody awful heat-wave wot is nearly paralyzing me and has already killed three Spaniards. I’m sure Putin could have easily contrived an invasion, or swarming, of some malevolent North African migrant wind. Unless this unwelcome sirocco is a punishment from the Mother of Bumba, for our sins of intellectual laziness and/or gullibility and for believing in what El Paí­s calls “la injerencia rusa. (which gives me  fits of the giggles something chronic, although I don’t know why).
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t for a moment believe that Putin is a saint who never sticks his fingers in anybody else’s pies, far from it. But nowhere does he interfere nearly as often and as lethally as you-know-who. Not by a very long shot. And in any case, I’d really like to see more (much more! as it’d be only just, not to say truthful) of, say, America’s interventions (both physical and psychological), or George Soros’ crass meddling, or, more to the point, Lockheed Martin’s criminal involvements. There. Take it easy. Drink lots. Have a nice weekend.

Bonus Bollocks! Pals. Here. A wee bit of vacuous frivolity. All glorious colourful form, hardly any substance and practically no politics. It’s too dammed hot for depths.