Entanglement. Once upon a time there was an old lady who wandered the galaxy on a spiky asteroid in the company of two chaos-based drones. One day she came across two beings embroiled in a deep mess of antagonisms. They appeared to be suffering much from this condition and as she could see that the tangle could be easily disentangled she offered the creatures to help them do so. But the whatnots had been in that state for so long that they no longer knew anything else. Thus they freely abused the old woman, called her every name under the stars and told he to mind her own business. The old girl took off as fast as her beautiful asteroid could carry her. Now she lives in Andromeda.
This is a modest tribute to Augusto Monterroso and his wondrous mini stories. I include here a quick, pedestrian translation of my favourite, as well as the Spanish version. And thank, you, Señor Botijo, for alerting me to don Augusto’s presence.
The Black Sheep.
In a far away country there once was a black sheep. She was shot.
A century later the repentant herd erected an equestrian statue of her that looked very well in the park.
Thus, in successive ages, every time there appeared a black sheep, it was swiftly shot, so that future generations of common or garden sheep could exercise themselves in the art of sculpture.
La oveja negra.
En un lejano país existió hacemuchos años una Oveja negra. Fue fusilada.
Un siglo después, el rebaño arrepentido le levantó una estatua ecuestre que quedó muy bien en el parque.
Así, en lo sucesivo, cada vez que aparecían ovejas negras eran rápidamente pasadas por las armas para que las futuras generaciones de ovejas comunes y corrientes pudieran ejercitarse también en la escultura.
Growing Pains. Listen to the wee monster’s appeal: Please help. Anybody. Your neighbour, your aunty Betty, your beloved, your mates, the sad old geezer down the road. Anyone. Any way you can, no matter how small. As often as you can. Spread understanding and graciousness. Help counteract the tide of nastiness that’s beginning to choke the spirit out of us all. Don’t do “social” distancing, call things by their name, not what the Guardian or the Daily Mail or, Bumba forfend!, the BBC tells you to call them. Stay sane and spread sanity. Have a lovely week. (I know, its a tall order but still, we must try.)
Lunatic.This is for Leo.Por que? Por guapa, por simpática, por canaria. Porque amas los animales y las flores. Porque te gustan los churros. Porque lees, aunque no leamos los mismos libros. Y porque hasta hace poco tu nombre de guerra era Lunática en la Luna. Por muchos años, salerosa!
Look see, another Moon Maiden. She follows her moons only and doesn’t give a toss for trends, fashions or mainstream media. She has her own mobile bubbles and two small bearish bodyguards. She will travel. She takes small commissions to and from remote corners of the galaxy. Her bear-like companions sing rude re-workings of Gilbert & Sullivan on demand and the bubbles make a mean chicken soup in dire emergencies.
Divided. Here goes yet another of those evergreen, ever-useful All-Purpose Gripe Indicators. Masked Crusaders v “Irresponsible Evil Terrorist” Wot Don’t Mask? Gender Bender Poor Wee Victims v Mind Your Own Business Partisans? Black v White? Black v Non-Compliant Black? White v Blacks, and Jews and Women and Anybody We Don’t Like? Get Fucked By Trump Coterie v Get Fucked By Biden/Harris Binomial Cabal? You v The World? Anything goes. As long as we forget that united we have half a chance and the way thing are going, Towards Mince Meat, we are fast buggered. Go on. Be a devil. Go hug your neighbour. And stay sane.
Sad Garden. aka En un berenjenal*. Questing for Bumba knows what, she’s wandered into the saddest, spikiest garden in the ‘hood. Nothing but fretworks and tall grasses, and only two small miasmas for company. The spiny weeds already have started infiltrating her savage breast. I have dispatched the tiny Savant Onions to offer some help and guidance or, failing that, some superlatively silly jokes to cheer her up and counteract the oppressive effect of the thorny weeds. We wish her the best of luck. Who knows, perhaps the small miasmas are friendly, too, and willing to guide her out of that wilderness she’s got herself into. Avanti popolo!
Spanish lesson for the weekend.
*Meterse en un berenjenal, Sp. Colloquial. To get one self into a pickle. To bite more that one can chew.
The quotation in the pic is from an old Soleá de la Serneta, sung by La Niña de los Peines. In the same song she also sang:
Fui piedra y perdi mi centro y me arrojaron al mar y a fuerza de mucho tiempo mi centro vine a encontrar.
There. Have two links to that masterpiece of cante viejo:
Por mucho pan nunca mal año, as we always say in my neck of the woods (or spiny gardens, regardless).
Reputations. Here, have a little peek at what the wee creatures think of the whole pantomime. This is a casual, tangential ad hominem attack on that hideous clown in No.10, once more trying to impersonate that other repulsive clown (and pimp) that one long time ago, had nothing to offer the country but blood, sweat, tears and a few gassed “natives”, to keep the populace happy. A pox on them all.
Passengers. Have a heart. For the homeless, the landless, the forcibly deracinated, the viciously pushed around, the thoughtlessly bulldozed, the despised, the lonely and the ignored. For all the declared non-persons in cold blood by the bullies of the global playground, just because they can. And for the Palestinians, for the First (soon to be Last) Australians, and the Chagossians, dying of broken hearts in some begrudged shanty corner east of Madagascar.
This is, again, for Zoraida aka Arsaytoma. I miss you and your drawings, girl.
Minotaur Mutations. A strange character has appeared out of the blue in the Chromatic Shifting Sands. Nobody can tell what it is since it refuses to reveal its name or even its rank and serial number. We conjecture that it may be vaguely related to Arachne but for the fact that it has too many limbs, and we think it might be female because as soon as she(?) appeared she(?) started giving birth to what she(?) claims is the ultimate alternative Minotaur under the watchful eye of the Permanently Amazed Palm Tree. It, the Alt-Mino, will undo all the wrongs that the original Minotaur did and, as a bonus, will haunt the dreams of Mike Pompeo from now on until the end of time and beyond. She(?) says. The Shoggoths are exceedingly curious about these shenanigans and are keeping a discrete eye on the proceedings. In spite of the perplexity surrounding this affair, we all wish the new mother(?) great fortune, outstanding prosperity and endless grooviness.
Identity Politics.When the Iis king uncivil war looms.
By all means, divide yourselves like common amoebas; fragment the already fragile structure that could have backed up the R-Evolution; turn your righteous causes into ideological minced meat. Accuse, censor, de-platform, wave fingers, assault, assail, persecute, cancel, make some poor bugger’s life a misery. My heroes are better than your heroes. I’m a real victim; you’re just kvetching. Me too! Mee too! Go for it. Boost the inner child and reinforce your self-esteem. Feel wonderful, worthy, virtuous and “it”.
Meanwhile, back at the whorehouse, the Meat Puppets and their Robocop Masters of the Universe handlers (some of which are funding your beautiful, virtuous movements, don’tyouknow), are licking their inhuman chops and having a laugh at your expense, thinking how well their mass manipulation techniques are working, and how effective, cheap and effort-saving they are. Why harass openly and directly the populace, which is very bad PR, when it can do it itself to itself so economically? And in between insane giggles, they are sharpening the machetes and polishing the button that will push the lever that will drop the pill that will make the gas.
Have a nice life.
And instead of un po’di mu’, one of my favourite Monty Python sketches: