Watching an old episode of New Tricks the other evening, I came across a name I could not resist. Almost at the same time I remembered that I’ve had had the perfect likeness to go with it in my hard drive for nearly two years. So, here is Lenny “the Lump”, the South London golem. Famous for his poetry reading soirees and his award-winning window boxes, he’s also a dab hand at scaring the local bullies, as he is 1) bigger than any of them and 2) almost completely intolerant of this particular breed. (I wonder if he could be persuaded to “have a little chat” with David Cameron…). Here we can see him hanging around Bermondsey Sq. with two of his bosom pals, Gary the Trouble Teddy and Betty “Hopping Mad” McCann, the two-legged berserker of Peckham Rye, of whom, rumor has it, even “Mad. Frankie Fraser used to be scared of. And this one makes four golems so far; three boys and one girl: Lenny, Jake, the lapsed East End golem, Blott, the Badlands golem and young Sarita. We could start a pop group and call it Perishable Clay, couldn’t we? Or proclaim a brand new tribe: the Golemim. Rabbi Loew, eat your heart out, mate!